Curious... as I get more and more happier... it seems.. the thoughts in my head get more and more cynical

it's almost as if I can't deal with being happy... like I worry to much it's going to end
I'm merely looking at any negative thing...And blowing it up.. but I don't know if it's just me picking up small signs

Is the path I've chose to walken embarassed about me? becuase I'm younger... becuase I'm careful about how I treat it?
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Something is a miss here... and though I hope it's nothing... I think it maybe something real