July 21st, 2002


Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

by Edgar Allen Poe.

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

One of those down days for me I suppose... I'm not to happy about a bunch of stuff.. I'm sick of a whole bunch of people... and it's really bugging me....Sadly to say, it's getting to the point where I'm looking foward to Otakon to be over so I dont' have to deal witht them for another year... at least.. on an upclose and personal basis.

I'm not talking about the people I consider friends mind you... just the annoying ones.. The annoying ones I'm forced to deal with. Maybe this is why Staffers stay with other staffess.... To have people they can be honest to, positive or negative... and not worry about them complaining about them in a position that will get them in trouble..

I mean god damn this whole thing is supposed to be fun for me... and I'm not having much fun... it feel like what fun I would be having before Otakon isn't going to happen... i'll probally wind up sitting in my hotel room playing games on my GC or my PS2.. Relatively anyways... once con really gets into swin... I won't be doing anything but working.. And even past that,.. my b-day is coming up... and I don't know if I'm even going to do anything for that... I'm super sick of planning things... and there are politics I think in our little group. though thats' mostly just us against one person who's an ass..

I suppose though i could do the party thing and ignore him.. but the comes to what happens if people can't come... I could schedule for a weekend, but people are busy even then.... who knows... maybe a lan party.. maybe paintball... but.. I think for me due to people working.. if anything happens it's going to have to be on that weekend following...

I know I got sidetracked from the Otakon stuff... but I think I'm just not going to worry.. because in the end.. if things fall through.. as much as I have my friends that are gophers... and even as much as I dont' want to leave them becuase of one person.. I'll just go elsewhere for a bit I guess.. Off into the World of staff..

Though I still note I don't want too...
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