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Oct. 14th, 2002

9/13/99

HellBuny: I haven't had real joy in my life since i
was around 4...... It's hard not to just give up
and say fuck everything and give up on ever
feeling it again..
Jaimen258: but then you'll be 20
HellBuny: which doesn't matter, and when I get
to 21, I can legally drink my sorrows away.
Jaimen258: or you can be older and wiser and
meet a girl who is totally amazing and fall in love
and get married
HellBuny: but... that doesn't help me now...
becaue for now... All I have is a big bag of shit
called my life.
Jaimen258: but if it doesn't kill you, it makes
you stronger


looking back... looking back... it's hard to do when I realize what an ass I am sometimes.... but I suppose this kind of thing keeps me on track and off the asshole route.

*continues reading logs and logs of his old chats... *

what a moron I am sometimes

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